In Search of D and S

I’ve read on several other blogs about difficulties in establishing and maintaining a meaningful relationship that is centered in Loving Female Authority. The operative word here is meaningful. There seems to be more than a few submissive males searching for a dominant woman who can, not only accept but also appreciate, the desire to worship and submit. Surprising as it to me, there apparently are also dominant women who cannot find a suitable submissive male to worship them. I wonder if perhaps we let D/s define and therefore completely overshadow a relationship, when in fact it should be just one facet of it.

Or maybe the opposite is true and D/s hasn’t much at all to do with it. There are scores of vanilla men and women out there complaining of similar inability to meet “decent” perspective significant others. Witness the rising popularity of matchdotcom and eharmony. And what about those who are presently in a relationship? The divorce rate doesn’t say much for the happiness of many of them. So maybe it’s more about people in general. Are we realistic about what comprises “the perfect partner?” Are we honest with ourselves and with one another about who we are? Are we honest and realistic about what will and won’t make us happy? Do we even know?

I don’t define myself first and foremost as a submissive male. If I did, I’d probably be left out in left field because apart from the fact that I prefer to submit to the authority of the woman I love, I probably don’t have the qualities that many Dommes would consider make great sub material. Does this make me less than a “true submissive?” Well, maybe, but I see my submissive nature as merely one of the facets of my makeup as a person. It defines only one of many roles in life.