Naked People Rock

Naked People Rock

I never featured myself as a submissive. Yet an undeniable sense of fulfillment in being dominated by the woman I love now partly defines who I am as a man. I never featured myself to be a nudist. And yet just recently it seems nudism will partly define who I am as a person. Goddess V and I recently returned from vacationing at a nude resort. It was our very first experience with nudism on any scale. Most definitely, it will not be our last.

Interestingly enough, I noticed a parallel between nudism and FemDom. In speaking with numerous other couples at the resort, we learned that venturing into nudism is most often first suggested by the man, just as the notion of FemDom is first breached by the male. Often the woman is not receptive to the idea. Some flatly refuse. Sound familiar? Some begrudgingly agree to try it even though they are uncomfortable with the idea. Of the women we talked to who had either initially refused or were initially uncomfortable, all were glad they had given nudism a try. As with woman who try FemDom, they seemed quite happy and content with the new lifestyle.

I don’t mean to infer there is any connection between nudism and FemDom. I saw no indication that the couples we met and hung out with had wife-led marriages.

Our relationship as Goddess and submissive was pretty much on hold while we were away—within reason anyway. So it’s possible the same was true for some of the other couples. We met one or two who I think might be into FemDom. And except for one controlling husband, I saw indications that most of the men we met were submissive and wanted to be dominated. You know how people tend to goof around when they get to know each other and start to get comfortable. I made a number of comments about spanking, whips, collars and leashes and every time the men picked up on it. It tells me this is just what they want—or they wouldn’t be so interested.

There are still times in my submissive role that I think to myself, “I can’t believe I’m doing this and actually enjoying it.” It was the same during our vacation. Trying nudism was something we both wanted to do. As when we first talked about FemDom, we seemed to intuitively know it would work for us. Still, there were a couple of times during our vacation when we both said, “I can’t believe we are here among all these naked people we don’t even really know.”

Just like I always felt like a Goddess, I always knew somewhere inside I could be a nudist. Maybe because I’m an exhibitionist at heart and maybe because I don’t give a good shit even if I do need to lose a few pounds. Take away designer outfits and strip people down to their birthday suits and you find out people are just people… and none of us are perfect in the bare flesh. So who cares? All of the people we met were exceptionally friendly, courteous and respectful. It’s what we had been told going into it and we found it to be the truth.

The down side, if there is one, is that we have added another wrinkle to our relationship that will be, at least for now, another source of frustration. As with our FemDom relationship, nudism, or naturism if you prefer that term, is a lifestyle that we will not be able to openly practice around the house as much as we might like. Alas, we still have grown kids at home that make this impractical even if we did kick the heat up a few notches. However, unlike the FemDom aspect of or marriage that remains private, we have not been the least bit secretive about our nudism. This is a good thing because we enjoy FemDom and nudism so much, I think one of us might bust a gut if we had to keep both of these sides of our relationship a secret.


Sue started her blog in September and unfortunately has already decided she will no longer maintain it. This is an excerpt from her last post. Sue, if you’re reading this, I hope you don’t mind, but I think your words are worth repeating here for those who haven't read them.

You can teach your partner the nuts (however twisted and tethered you may wish them to be) and bolts of your preferred sexual practices. You can talk about the advantages to her, but ultimately she will explore your sexuality with you for one reason.

She loves you.

She feels good about your relationship, herself and your future together. I think your existing relationship is your best hope of seeing your desires realized. Anything you can do to increase romance, communication and intimacy will be in your favor, but I think you already know that.

So please consider this;

We all have dreams. Some dreams and hopes are fulfilled; some by hard work and determination, others by serendipity. Some dreams are discarded.

And some dreams are stored in a drawer. When we are alone we take them out and consider them. Then we quietly put them back and we return to the reality of our existence.

As deep as your desire to submit to a woman is, your partner may have a dream or hope equally hidden, equally unfulfilled. Find it.

Help her discover something that she’d put away in that drawer. Something beyond her realm of wife, lover, mother, of housework and career. Something she thought was lost. Help her realize that dream.

You want to be her knight? Help your Lady find her Camelot first.

Then buy that paddle.

His Collar


In a recent comment a reader said that when his wife fastens his collar around his neck, all pride and resistance melt away. I guess due to the season of year, I’ve been thinking about a time a few years ago when Goddess V was brainstorming about costumes we might wear to an upcoming Halloween party. This was before we talked about FemDom and about the time I’d begun reading about it. I mentioned this in an earlier post because some months later, as I was considering whether or not to approach her about this lifestyle, I thought about the incident and pondered its significance. Was it possible this woman was beyond “bossy,” with kinks that had yet to find their way to the surface? Could it be she already knew what she wanted and was testing me to gauge my reaction? At the very least, I interpreted it as an indication that she would be agreeable to trying this lifestyle.

Anyway, Goddess V suggested we might go to the Halloween party with me mostly naked wearing a collar and leash, and her in leather as a dominatrix. As I say, we had not discussed FemDom, and at that particular time, I had only begun considering that this might be the direction in which our relationship should go. I remember thinking at the time how odd it was that she should come up with such an idea out of the clear blue. Even more puzzling was how she ultimately discarded the idea-- not because it was too outlandish, or might raise too many eyebrows among friends at the party. Hell no! She tossed the idea because she figured that by the time Halloween arrived, it would probably be too cold for me to be wearing so little clothing. That’s what I love about my wife: she is always so considerate.

I have always had visions of leather, whips and collars. Nothing too outrageous, just some ideas of something fun and different in the bedroom. I believe when you have a vision of anything you can make it happen. And this is true for most things in life, not just a little kinky play in the bedroom. If you don’t keep the vision, you can pretty much figure it will never happen. Even though my mind has always conjured up these types of visions, I hadn’t come right out and talked about it with VK. If had when we first met, I might have scared him off. LOL. Actually, if I had, we’d probably have gotten into this lifestyle sooner and maybe saved ourselves some trials to our relationship. But things happen in their own time. I guess I was bound to live this lifestyle sooner or later. ☺

The costume suggestion immediately struck a chord with me. Yet as I recall, I tempered my reaction into something like, “Hmm, that’s an interesting idea.” We all know that completely open and honest communication between two people in a relationship is sometimes not easy. The costume idea faded away but the image it left in my mind surely did not. I thought about it often and realized that everything about it appealed to me on levels I had never before experienced. I believe many people dress up for Halloween not only for fun, but sometimes also as a way to live out a fantasy, or to be someone that everyday life or personal insecurities and inhibitions may not allow them to be. While I didn’t understand the appeal, I knew it was indicative of more than a desire to live out a fantasy or to be someone else for a few hours. My inner voice told me that the feelings it aroused within me were yet another sign pointing toward FemDom.

Odd thing about one’s inner voice. Is it ever wrong? I want to go way off on a tangent here, but best to wrap this up and save inner voice for another day.

Today there is a black leather slave collar in our bedroom that is far more than part of a Halloween costume. We don’t get to use it for more than an hour or two at a time here and there, but when Goddess V fastens it around my neck, it fits-- if you know what I mean. It fits because it’s part of who I am and because it’s a symbol of who Goddess V and I have become to each other. Collaring may be more a D/s activity than a necessity in a wife-led marriage, so for those who may find this objectionable, not to worry. For us however, it works. Not only does it push one of my submissive buttons, it also pleases Goddess V to see the change in me when she buckles it on.

VK is very submissive when I put that collar around his neck. I especially like the sound of the chain leash [evil grin]. I can see the look on his face change and his whole demeanor changes. It’s when he changes from being my knight to being my slave and I know then he is mine to do as I wish. I’m often still amazed at this but I gotta say I like the feeling of power and control—and how he trusts me totally. I know some people out there don’t share this vision and that is OK. But I think most submissive men (and I believe most men are) will react the same way to a collar. And if a woman finds this uncomfortable at first, she may find it fades away after a few times of collaring her slave and letting him know who is the Goddess! Generally speaking, a woman often thinks in terms of “keeping her man on a short leash.” All I can say is try it once with a real collar and leash—you might be amazed at what happens.

Hopefully one day (read: if and when ALL the kids EVER leave home, or we quietly move in the middle of the night and leave them no forwarding address) Goddess V will have me in a collar and on her leash for more extended periods. I’d like nothing better. I like how putting it on seems to pull me out of day-to-day vanilla life to ground me in what’s truly important in our relationship. It can be dangerously easy to lose sight of that. It causes me to wonder what would happen and how I would feel if I were in fact required to wear my collar more often. Goddess V says she finds it easier to dominate me when I am wearing my collar. Hmmm, could be one of those “be careful what you wish for” deals. Ya think?

[evil grin]

About what VK said about our inner voice. I believe that if you listen to that voice, you’ll never go wrong. I know you all know what I mean. There is always that little voice that keeps telling you what is right and wrong when you are trying to make a decision. I believe there are a lot of unhappy people out there-- and a big reason for this is they don’t listen to their inner voice. They don’t act on what it is telling them. Believe me, I’ve been there and done that, ignored the voice because I didn’t like what it was telling me. Some of you out there reading this are teetering back and forth about this lifestyle. It’s mostly men I guess trying to decide should I tell her or shouldn’t I. I can’t say yes or no. All I can say is, sit alone and listen to what that little voice is telling you. Then act on it.