SHOULD WE BE SECRETIVE?

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I originally posted part of this as a comment on Katherine West’s LovingFemaleAuthority blog. I decided to include it here.

Goddess V and I don’t routinely divulge the more personal details of our FemDom marriage. It’s not that we're ashamed or embarrassed by what we do behind closed doors, it’s just that it’s basically no one’s business but ours. However, we are firm believers that FemDom is truly a path to a happier and more personally rewarding marriage. Toward that end, we would not hesitate to promote our lifestyle if and when the situation warrants it. As it is, we’ve already openly hinted at it by recommending and loaning a copy of "Venus on Top" to three different women (one married and two single) who have complained to us about marital/relationship problems.

As a side note: It’s been obvious in subsequent conversation that none of these women have bothered to either buy or read the book. Yet they continue to bitch about men. Go figure. You can put the cookie in someone’s hand, but you cannot make them taste it.

Lately, more for the fun of it than anything else, we have dropped hints now and then just to test peoples’ reactions. For instance, Goddess V has “threatened” me with a spanking in front of others. Though she has done it in a mocking tone and followed it up with a big smile, invariably it draws comments from other wives such as, “You go, girl!” and from husbands, “Can I be next?” You might say these people are simply going along with the jest in good fun by adding some humor of their own. Certainly possible. And yet humor is often based on underlying truth. And when you combine that fact with a few cocktails during Happy Hour, I suspect that many of these people either think about, practice, or wish they practiced [in this case] spanking. Goddess V claims that she and I do nothing that many other people wouldn’t do if they had the courage to try it or ask for it.

Recently I initiated a discussion among a circle of friends about indications in our society that females are taking more and more control. Of four married men in the discussion, all agreed and when asked who truly led their individual marriages, all admitted that, largely, their wives were in charge. When our wives got wind of the conversation, they smiled and nodded their heads in approval. So I’ve come to suspect that those of us in wife-led marriages are perhaps too concerned with being secretive about our lifestyle. The more we begin to open up about it, the faster the shift to female authority will occur. As for my wife and I, people may suspect that something is a trifle, well, “different” about our relationship, but they frequently comment that we are the most romantic couple they know.

3 comments:

Richard of Down On My Knees said...

Men interested in F/m relationships would do well to never use the word Femdom. If a woman decides to look up the term on the web she's going to see a lot of brutal porn sites and close her mind forever.

VeezKnight said...

To me, calling it an F/m relationship means little especially when one verbalizes it. You would have to say, "Capital F female, small M male" relationship in order to make it clear. Seems kinda ackward. I personally think that we (submissive men) worry too much about a woman's possible reaction to a word such as FemDom. It's almost as if we see ourselves as spin-doctors, wanting to put just the right spin on this lifestyle so as to make it more acceptable to a woman. Isn't that an insult to a woman's intelligence, intelligence that a submissive men believes to be superior to his own?

Patrick said...

I don't think people in an FLR or Femdom marriage/relationship need to be secret at all.

If you want it to be more accepted then the only way that is going to happen is if people come out of the closet.

No political decree is going to be passed that says it's now acceptable. People should just be who they are and as it catches on society will change.

Unfortunately, that means that those on the front line, the ones that come out early, will take the brunt of the backlash. So be it. It takes courage to be who you are.

VeezKnight, your story about the husbands all freely admitting that their wife is more or less in control, and the wives agreeing, is a variation that I have seen many times myself, although it's usually said in a joking manner.

As you said, there is a bit of truth behind all jokes.