Discipline

I think discipline is a necessary part of Loving Female Authority. It’s a perfect way to continually reinforce a dominant woman’s authority over her submissive male. A submissive man needs this in order to validate his identity as a submissive. And I think that because he understands this about himself, a submissive man likes (maybe ‘craves’ is a better word) discipline---and wants it regularly.

I start with his collar. One of my favorite pleasures is when I have my husband strip naked and put his collar on. I attach a chain leash to the ring on his collar. [grin] It gives a new meaning to keeping your man on a short leash—about 4 feet! This is when my knight becomes my slave and he will do whatever is asked of him. In the beginning when we started our FemDom relationship I said that I wasn’t too interested in having a “slave”. I guess because I was thinking of someone who is forced to serve against their will. Now I realize it’s not like that. Dominating a man in a female-led D/s relationship isn’t the same. Because the male wants to submit. My husband wants me to put his collar on him and he likes it when I treat him like a slave. I do like thinking of him as my knight in shining armor, but I gotta say that I may like thinking of him as my slave even more. If we didn’t have teenagers still at home, VeezKnight would be VeezSlave a lot more. Maybe wearing his slave collar all the time---around the house anyway [grin]! When the collar goes on I can actually see a look of total submission come over his face and there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me. This is where trust and love come in. Lets face it, if you don’t trust the person you are with this could be a very scary scenario. This is what I am really trying to do here. Make people more aware of the care and love it takes to have this kind of relationship.

With all of the good stuff he writes here, don’t be fooled into thinking that VK is the perfect husband. He’s good and I love’um to death, but he’s a man, got it? He still screws up sometimes and he’s a little less attentive than he should be too. So once his collar is on, I spank him. I do it more to keep him on the straight and narrow, to be sure he tows the line more than as punishment. If I could I’d have him over my knee once a week, but like I said we still have kids at home. So spankings for now are about three or four weeks apart. I use a leather paddle so as not to hurt my hand and we have a safe word, but he has yet to use it. As I spank him I am very verbal as to why he is getting his spanking. I remind him that I am The Goddess and he is my submissive. I remind him that I expect him to worship and obey me. I count down whatever he’s done since his last spanking that didn’t please me—sometimes there isn’t much. I also point out things he’s done that did especially please me. His ass cheeks get a nice crimson glow and the more times my paddle slaps his bare ass the more excited I get. I am a very free spirited, non-judgemental and adventurous person, but even I didn’t expect the way this would be such a total turn on. What a happy surprise.

Does this make me sadistic? Nah. At first I had a hard time dealing good whacks with my paddle cause I’m not a person who likes to hurt anyone. Especially someone I love. So it’s not inflicting pain that turns me on so much as it’s how my husband submits to it under my authority. It’s the reaction that it draws out of him that turns the spanking from what some people would call an act of meanness into one of love. This is why I don’t advocate spanking or whipping a man in the heat of anger---like if he does something that really pisses you off and you want to strangle him. Every wife knows that feeling! Better to first let emotions subside. Wait until a time when you can concentrate on the discipline. How your actions affect your sub and how his reactions make you feel as a dominant female---instead of on transgressions he committed. It’s hard for me to get this idea across, but when there is genuine love and caring in a FemDom relationship, acts of discipline like spanking increase feelings of intimacy. They’re part of what create a deep, emotional bond between the Domme wife and her sub husband that is unlike anything else. It’s almost the sort of thing you have to experience to be able to understand. And I think just about everyone who has seriously tried LFA will agree.