FemDom folks are not unlike other folds, which is to say we deal with the same day-to-day realities that vanilla couples do. We may have the noblest of intentions, but the complexities and complications of life often intervene. When I began this blog I had hoped to post two and three times a week. That hasn’t happened. When Goddess V agreed to join me here, she intended to share her views as a dominant woman once a week. That hasn’t happened either.

We both work full time jobs. Mine keeps me away from home two nights each week and her’s currently demands 10-hours days. In addition, Goddess V has started a side business that we work at jointly, but sometimes separately if you know what I mean. It requires more and more of our “spare” time, especially on weekends. Throw in a couple of minor health issues and physical ailments to slow us down, plus grown kids in the home who are better at making a mess than at cleaning up. We also have a circle of wonderful friends with whom we socialize two or three evenings each week.

And of course here on the east coast it is Spring, glorious Spring, which means my Goddess has been planting flowers, and more flowers, and still more flowers. Did you imagine she wears leather and stilettos around the house? Guess again. How about flip-flops, t-shirts and sweat pants that are covered with grass stains and garden soil. Oh, did you imagine that I, her slave, would be doing all the planting for her while she supervises and sips a mint julip? nnnnNo. I’ve been on a job site every Saturday and Sunday with the side business, so apart from edging the garden beds and spreading mulch, my Goddess has been on her own in the garden this year.

This is to say that these days, at the end of the day, at the end of the week, we are exhausted and, as they say, too pooped to pop. Our FemDom agreement still exists, but sadly there has been little time, little privacy and little energy to engage in any of the more physical and deeply satisfying aspects of this our D/s relationship. Are you feeling sorry for us yet? Please don’t. I didn’t post this to solicit sympathy. I did it to illustrate how a FemDom marriage can be just like any other, even when both spouses are committed to the lifestyle. The thing is, whether we are dominant or submissive or vanilla, we are all human--and we do what we can as we can. It doesn’t make it any less frustrating though.


princeofmyqueen said...

Good day to you sir

No, I do not have any sympathy for you, but only a suggestion, if you don't do it allready. My beautiful queen and I also practice a femdom marriage, but we do it as cassual as you can get. Yes, the highwatermarks are teh sessions, but during the course of the day we keep the interest alive with quick phone calls, e-mails, etc. Just a quick reinforcer as some would call it, but we ensure that it happens at least once every day - then maybe you would not be so tired in the evenings.

oldbear said...

Hi VK, well said! All I can think of to add is AMEN BROTHER.

Her said...

I can't say I wish some days I could walk around in leather and stilletos--however my most common domme outfit is a black skirt and cami. More comfortable ;)

Queen'sKnight1 said...


O/our experience is so similar. W/we too work at very demanding jobs, but get some time off every four months. It is very challenging to stay focused in O/our roles when work demands so much energy. It doesn't mean that She is no longer dominant or that i am no longer submissive; it simply means that W/we are both exhausted. W/we do find that when W/we have time off, things blossom into the full fruition that W/we wish they could be at all times.

There are many "wannabees" who dream up this vision of the Ice Queen served by a male who slinks around on his knees, endlessly kissing her feet (and other parts), while following bitchily barked, bossy orders. Oh my, is the reality so ever different than that fantasy!

The first comment above is by a person who seems not to know what it means to work really hard, day after day at a truly stressful job. his comment was insensitive and out of touch.

W/we gain so much from Y/your blog. Thank Y/you for sharing Y/your lives and wisdom with the rest of U/us.


Bonnie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bonnie said...

Oh thank Gawd real people I can relate too !! Just wanted to say Iove to read your postings and appreciate the effort it takes to share..Keep up the great work..the femdomme World needs MORE REAL people