How long HAS it been?


There was a time when if you asked me how long it had been since I last had sex with my wife, I could tell you. Most guys could: maybe not down to the hours, but surely within days. If you asked how long it had been since I'd practiced good ole reliable self-service, I probably would have denied doing it altogether. In my mind however I could have zeroed in pretty close to the number of hours it had been.

The underlying inference here is on frequency. More is better. If you're dating, the more babes you screw, the better. If you're married, the fewer times wifey cops a headache plea and gives it up, the better, right? And whether or not a guy admits to regular masturbation, most men are never too much further than 24 hours away from the good feeling—one way or another.

Female authority in a wife-led marriage puts a totally new spin on this hallmark of maledom. Oh yes, the good feeling is very much still the good feeling. Mother Nature saw to that one. But more is, well, not so necessarily better. In a world where men have traditionally felt good about themselves based on regularity of sex, submissive men are seeming to feel good about.... NOT having sex.

What is up with all these counting timers I am noticing lately on blogs written by submissive men? "It's been 3 weeks, 4 days, 22 hours and 43 minutes since my last orgasm." Okay, so the dominant woman in your life has made you go that long, but do we really need to know how long a time has elapsed since she last allowed you to ejaculate? I am wondering if, when you come right down to it (no pun intended), the longer a submissive man goes without sexual release, the better he feels about himself. Does this carry over into how he feels about himself as a man, or is it limited to how he sees himself as a submissive husband? Or, is it basically a function of wanting to please his dominant partner?

Speaking of feeling good about one's self... or not. I just walked a couple of miles for exercise, which made me feel real good about myself. But now I am pissing myself off by sitting her having a cup of coffee and eating double stuff Oreo cookies. Damnit.

It's been
24 hours and 18 minutes
since I last ate a double stuff Oreo cookie! LOL


Anonymous said...

I must preface this by saying that both of my daughters are asking a lot of questions as they see there Dad being strickly controled and watch him do countless daily chores. Both girls have commented about how Dad is so submissive to me and how much control I have over him. Both girls have expressed several times that they hope to find a man just like Dad. I am loving the way they are thinking.
I am very fortunate to have found a naturaly submissive husband which I love dearly and so cherish these past years of molding him to my wants and needs through strick training. I cannot put into words what it does to me to empower him and control him primarly through orgasm denial and corporal punishment to way beyond what most others can understand. I am in a constant state of arrousal watching him spend many hours a day trying to please me by completing grueling chores to perfection, focusing on intence mental tasks while restained for long periods of time and then servicing my personal needs usually late into the night with little or no sleep. I with out question believe in what we practice in our marriage and want to stop hiding it in the bedroom and bring it out in the open where appropriate in front of my daughters, family and friends.
My oldest daughter is going to be going to our local community college this fall for two years and my 18 year old has one more year in high school and does not know forsure what she wants to do, but most likely both girls will be living at home for the next couple years or more. Sherri (Section 2)

Anonymous said...

My question centers around what is appropriate in our household and are my girls at an age to be exposed to our femdom marriage. My husband does most all the chores in our house with exception of the main bathroom which the girls share, and the girls bedrooms. For years the girls have handled these chores. Both girls are very busy and now have taken on jobs to help pay for there schooling which is terrific so I think my husband should have to add these chores to his agenda. Maintaining there bedrooms, making ther beds each morning and cleaning and maintaining there bathrooms. Do you see anything wrong with this? A year ago I added to my husbands weekly agenda the chore of doing all the household laundry including the girls which he does twice a week.
My next questions center around what is appropriate in our household beyond the chores.
I should add a bit about my daughters here just so you have a complete picture. Both girls currently have boyfriends and both have exprienced sex. Neither is naive, both are quite comfortable with there bodies and often run around the house in just there underpants even if Dad is around. When Dad is not around they have no problem running around naked or sunbathing nude on our private deck. About a month ago the youngest brought up the subject of our local nude beach and how she and a girl friend of hers checked it out. Sherri (Section 3)

Anonymous said...

I probed her about it and learned that my little girl is growing up. I was surprised with how comfortable she seemed to be with her body and nudity. She informed me that she thought I am such a prude at times. Little does she know I have been to this same nude beach several times as I love to parade my hubby in his Lori tube (I love to give him a dose of humiliation from time to time).
Both girls are agressive and assertive in life which I really love and I think it is time to broaden there horizons. I have been truely fortunate to have very open relationships with my girls, we often talk openly about drugs, alcohal and sex. Recently the girls and I went to the youngest girl's soccer game out of state so we had a long car ride and boy they really hit me between the eyes when the topic of sex came up and how I probed into there sex lives and expected them to be open with me but that it was not fair that I was not being open with them about mine and specificly about how I dominate there Dad.
I had to agree with them and little do they know how much I would love to talk, share and expose them to my femdom lifestyle. But I want to make sure I do not hinder the wonderful mother daughter relationships I have with both girls. I have a list below of topics that are swirling around my head and would love to hear your thoughts on subjects like: Sherri (Section 3)

Anonymous said...

(1) Exposing the fact that I have thier Dad in chastity, and that he is never permitted to masturbate. (2) Orgasm denial, I do not permit him orgasms more frequently than monthly, usually he has to go several months between releases. (3) Should the girls see there Dad knell? (4) Should they see him naked or wearing his Lori tube? (5) Should they see him in his collar or on a leash. (6) Should they be allowed to give him instruction? I might love this one. (7) Should they hear or witness a punishment? (8) Little do they know that there Dad gets serious corner time, never less than two hours, normaly more, should they get to observe this? (9) Should they know their Dad is wearing panties, should they observe this? (10) Should they know I control all the money and finances to the extent that he does not have his name on any of our bank accounts, the house, cars, business and only gets a meager weekly allowance when he is good.
May I also ask you what you think is appropriate in the general public or in front of other family, friends, coworkers and what you think is crossing the line.
I want to take this next step so badly and have waited so long making sure the timing is right and appropiate. The thought of subjecting my husband to this incredible humiliation and what it will ultimately do for me just makes my body shutter. Then most of all showing and teaching my daughters all about femdom marraige. Thanks, Sherri (Section 4 Final)

VeezKnight said...


Wow. You pose some difficult questions that I am not sure anyone but you and your husband are qualified to answer. You know your daughters best and are therefore most qualified to judge what their reaction might be. The same is true for your friends and other relatives.

The chances are, that unless your daughters and friends are extremely open minded, they might not react as favorably as you might hope. And once the cat is out of the bag, there is no putting it back. Again however, you are the best judge of what reactions might be.

Knowledge that you control all the finances and make the decisions around the house seems reasonable enough. But as for your daughters seeing your husband in panties, or nude wearing a chastity device, or collar and leash seems over the top to me. Ditto for witnessing you administering punishment. And why would friends need to see any of that.

If you are dead set on bringing your femdom relationship more into the open, I would suggest taking very small steps and having some rather carefully couched conversations with your daughters about wife-led marriage and why you believe in it.

If you decide to go the distance, you might get back to us and let us know how things went.


Regarding all of the questions Anon asks, I too agree that anything sexual should be kept private from your 2 daughters. When they are in a very serious relationship which may lead to marriage, perhaps then you could share some of your wife led marriage ideas. Right now they are still too young. The boys they are dating now have raging. hormones and naturally will not accept being told that they have to wait 2 weeks for sex. They will no doubt find another or do it themselves. You have to be in a firm loving relationship to practice a WLM, with a desire by both partners. You are confusing their wanting to sunbath nude with having to know all you and your husband have developed over the past many years. Plus, they really don't need to see Dad standing in a corner, wearing a collar or panties, or getting spanked. He is their father, some respect should be maintained!!!! My husband and I have a great WLM, and we both are very happy with it, but we feel no need to shout it to the world. I know some of my friends do wish their husbands were more attentive to them while we are together , but their husbands are the type that would probably not want to fully submit to their wife. It's not for everyone, but if you are lucky enough to have a great WLM, then don't push it on others. Perhaps give them the name of this wonderful site and let them take from it as much as they want. As for them seeing him do housework, just say it's his way of helping. As for cleaning their bath and bedrooms, the daughters should be reponsible for the bedroom, the husband could clean their bathroom. He should tell them that he would rather they spend that time catching up on schoolwork after their jobs. Good luck with your decisions.

All For Her said...

I'll stick to your topic...
I keep track because I like stats mostly, but that's not the only reason. At first it was easy enough to remember when my last orgasm was, but I still marked them on my calendar, as well as my wifes (and the amnt. as well). As time has gone on the statistics themselves have kind of become a kink. For instance, at first my wife just plain didn't care how long I'd gone, how few I'd had or the ratio of hers to mine. But now even she gets the fun of seeing the disproportionate amount of hers to mine and gets off on the fact that I've had so few this year, even to the point where if she has orgasms and I'm not there to know about it she will tell me so that I can keep track.
So, while it started as a simple bit of statistics (because I like stats) it has ended up a kink unto itself. I don't keep a counter on my blog, but I do keep one of the desktop of my pc. Normally I don't even notice it, but today saw that it has been 17 days since my last release. I got a little thrill from that. How high will the counter get this time? See, it can be fun!

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous, Wow you really have a very submissive husband, but I think you should refer to him as your family's slave. Personally, I wouldn't involve your 2 daughters in this becaause it is wife-led marriage, the words wife and marriage are the key. Let them grow into their own relationships over time with their boyfriends and then their husbands. Maybe their husbands will not be into WLM as we on this site are. If not, should she divorce him because he can't compare to Dad and what they saw at home. The idea of your daughters seeing your husband in his chastity device (more on that later), or having them punish him anytime by spanking or corner time is too outlandish. Myself, I have a husband who is 70% husband and 30% slave. I want a man to wine and dine me, to make suggestions on how he can please me (how about I take you shoe shopping sweetheart instead of watching a baseball game), and to arouse me by being wonderful to me because that is his choice. Yes, I keep him very horny for long periods, but that is mutual. He does all of the housework wearing only his panties, this I love. He wears panties 24/7, but not mine , too small. Plus I wear bikinis and thongs, he would look silly in pink panties. So we buy size 7 panties in red, white, tan, brown and black, all hip briefs. He was always attracted to my panties, wore them on occasion (my older ones), and told him how aroused they made him feel all day and especially at night. As for a chastity device, my husband used to wear the CB 3000, but I felt after a couple of years that it was artificial control of his orgasms. I now make him go without, on the honor system, and he has promised and sworn to me that he will not do it himself. I know he hasn't, what wife wouldn't know the difference after her husband cums. With no device, he shows his complete devotion to me. If he wants to do it himself, he may, but then our wonderful WLM is gone. He suggested this WLM to me 3 years ago, I was very vanilla and somewhat against it until he told me about orgasm control by the wife. That sounded interesting, and being in our mid 50's with the children all moved out, it seemed like the thing to put some life into a good marriage, but one that was predictable. But what we do stays with us, because it works for just us. I do punish him on occasion, a set amount of days for corner time for 2 hours a day. He also gets added weeks until I allow him to orgasm. He always starts with 4 weeks, and I add from there. ( that seems to be most common reading these sites) At a Labor Day bar-b-que we attended, he wasn't paying much attention to me and not refilling my drink or helping me with my plate. He spent alot of the first hour talking to a man and his very attractive wife. (I do say that I felt I was attracting more mens glances than she was.) After an hour or so, I got his eye and I held up 2 fingers. His face dropped in shock. That was my signal to him that we have between us that he just got awarded some punishment time of 2 additional weeks of orgasm denial, plus 2 hours of corner time every day for 2 weeks. He became so attentive after that, and pleaded on the way home for me to reconsider. No use, I never reconsider and I told him one more word about it and I would double it. Wives should be firm, as Anononymous is, and not go back ever on what they say. I believe my husband is a much better husband now than ever before, But I want a husband not a 100% slave.

Anonymous said...

Good topic. I am submissive to my wife, and besides my doing all of the laundry and housework, she is very dominant with orgasm control. If you are submissive, the most dominant thing a woman can do to a man is to tell him when he may orgasm, how he will orgasm, and even where he may orgasm. I say may, because a woman, in this case my wife, may change her mind at any time and make me wait much longer. I like to orgasm, but I love having my wife dominant and in full control of me. She is very good at this considering we started about 5 years ago and she just made up the rules as we went along. Now she loves orgasm control, teases me everyday with light stroking and calling me into the bedroom for the privledge (what she calls it, and it is) of watching her undress at night. I will bring her to orgasm orally as often as she wants, but she will only tell me "if you're a good hubby, you may get to cum in a few weeks". That's a dominant wife!

Anonymous said...

If all married couples practiced orgasm management or orgasm denial ( which is more my case) I think all husbands would treat their wives as they should and deserve to be treated, as godesses. My wife keeps me in a constant state of arousal, making me wait up to 3 months for an orgasm. She says she loves how submissive I become, and more submissive the longer I am denied. So much so that she hates to finally allow me to orgasm because then I start over from square one, where just hours before she has the total submissive husband. Lets face it, after men orgasm our high level of wanting to please our wives and do everything for her does drop off considerably. Not completely, I am still submissive to her afterwards, but the intenseness is diminished. She knows this and has wondered how long she could make me go without orgasm, until I'm literally climbing the walls. She has suggested every 6 months, and I told her that during that time I might have a wet dream, and explained the reasons for that. She told me in no uncertain terms that it better not happen, I should awake and use the ice pack I use frequently. She will not tolerate a wet dream, she says that I could cause it by thinking eroctic thoughts, and she will not allow one. I hope I can tell my body this, I have had some years ago and I don't believe I caused them. Well, she has agreed that my wait time will be 3 months. She has purchased various herb capsules for prostate health and I take them twice a day. Every night I get stroked lightly until I'm hard and before the point of no return(as she calls it), then she stops, I will cuddle her and we go to sleep. I am at 8 weeks now, really really horny,(I can say it here she said but I'm not allowed to tell her that or complain). I would love to cum, but if she wants me hornier, that's the way it should be and I will be.


I am also a husband of a very sexy wife who loves to tease me and then deny me an orgasm for up to a month or even longer. But somehow even though the feeling is sometimes to much to handle, I want to do it because she enjoys it so much. She has told me that she was never into vagina sex anyway so she is much happier with me giving her oral sex and she teasing me and no more. But I somehow love it also. Two weeks ago when she was ready to have sex with me she said that she would let me do it to her, but it would make her so happy if I wanted to wait another 3 weeks. And then added, but your month is up so we can do it. I told her no, I wanted to make her happy by waiting another 3 weeks, so I never made love to her that night. Now I'm waiting, but she is very happy that I proved to her what she wants and what pleases her is more important than a few seconds of pleasure for me.

Anonymous said...

I want to thank you all for your comments. I am taking them seriously and it seems that what has evolved with my marriage and how I constantly keep raising the bar. I think that I have created in my mind things that might be over the top for others and you all might be right. On the other hand maybe not. Last night my oldest daughter and I were visiting alone and she informed me that she had hidden under her bed a couple times when I dominated dan in the house. Of course not knowing my daughter was hidding under her bed to just see what we did when alone. I was furious at first, yelled at her, then I settled down some asking her to please tell me everything she witnessed. She assured me that she loved both of us very much and that she knows we are very much in love. She said many of her freinds parents sure don't show the love that we have for one and other and she thinks it is awesome. Well I really am confused now as to what is right and wrong. I feel what she did is very wrong but how do I handle this situation. She informed me that if I think that she does not know what we do in our femdom marrisge, your dreaming. She kept saying its ok its a beautiful thing. If only others knew what you and dad have, you have an incredible relationship, its just not the norm. Well I am so confused! Any advice or comments are welcome!