Failure

I don’t deal with failure very well, particularly when it involves my own ability and talent. I failed in a home improvement project on Sunday, one that has been dragging on and on because we have been so busy outside our home on another project. Very frustrating. It came at the tail end of what could only be described as an exhausting weekend involving other projects that are turning out extremely well. This only served to make my DIY failure at home sting all the more. It put me in a belligerent and generally pissed-off mood, not at anyone in particular, well, yeah… at MYSELF. There was a time when Goddess V probably would have gotten mad at me for being in such a mood, but as it was, she dealt with it very well. She sympathized and then pretty much left me alone.

Lately I’ve been packing a lunch for Goddess V a few days a week when I am home. Sunday night she went to bed before I did and when she kissed me goodnight, I told her I’d pack her lunch, not to forget it in the morning. She replied that she knew I was tired and to forget about it. I sat up a while after she went to bed, thinking. At first I though Goddess V is getting smarter as she becomes more dominant. Then I realized (not for the first time I might add) that she’s been smart all along. She’s just getting smarter at handling me. I like to think that I also am getting smarter, for letting her do just that, even though it requires submitting to her authority. When I read and hear about so many women and men who cannot find happiness in a relationship with someone, either vanilla or otherwise, I realize again and again how fortunate I am.

I got off my tired ass and packed a lunch for Goddess V.