A QUESTION ANSWERED

I received an email from a gentleman who wrote: “…knew I was submissive in the first years of our marriage but was always to afraid to say it. With raising children and other interests it went into the background but always seemed to creep back into my mind. But I never thought about going to a pro. Now we have an empty nest and my craving to submit is stronger than ever… Last year my wife was telling me about a book she was reading that had a dominant woman in it. I thought good, maybe this was my opportunity so started asking questions, mostly about that character without sounding to interested. I thought if maybe she would say the character appealed to her, I could take things further and suggest she try it. But she didn’t seem to interested so I lost my nerve and let it drop. Later I read the book and it turned out the woman was to nasty and not at all the way my wife would be even if she did dominant me... I read what you said in your blogg and alot of it makes sense to me. I was wondering how you approached your wife with this because you never really said.”

In answer to that question: I did some homework by visiting and reading all of the sites listed here, and then some. I also ordered Elise Sutton’s book from Amazon and read it cover to cover in two nights that I was out of town. I have to say that it both intrigued AND scared the bejesus out of me. Most of all, I was amazed at the insight this woman displays into the male psyche. I don’t know how anyone with even half an open mind, male or female, could read her book and not find something that rings true. I can understand why many MSWs pale at the thought of their wives being introduced to FemDom by way of this book because Sutton discusses all the practices that FemDom may include. Still, she qualifies herself again and again by saying that a woman can make it anything she desires.

About the time I obtained Sutton’s book, I printed a few pages from aroundherfinger and showed them to my wife. That initiated a very general discussion, not specifically about FemDom, but about wives being in authority. I also bought and read “Venus on Top”, then gave that to my wife as well. She never bothered to read much of it, though we did talk about some of the principles outlined in the book. She said she already KNEW this stuff, that a woman SHOULD be treated as a Goddess and that any man who didn’t should be kicked to the curb. She also smiled at me and said, “And you haven’t been on top when we screw in what, 5 maybe 6 years?” Oddly enough, she recommended and gave the book to a lady friend of hers who is in a bad marriage.

I let things sit for several months, but we did discuss various aspects of female authority on numerous occasions. Little by little I think we were both a bit less guarded in acknowledging that she was the more dominant and I the more submissive in our relationship. During that three or four-month period however, I came very close to trashing Sutton’s book, which I had safely stashed in the trunk of my car. In fact at one point I was standing with the book in my hand, at a trashcan outside a convenience store. Call it second-guessing. Or perhaps fear of the unknown: what life would truly be like if my wife became even half the Domme that Elise Sutton was. Needless to say I didn't pitch the book, mostly because despite my trepidation, I seemed to sense that this was the direction that my marriage was meant to take.

Soon after that day I sent my wife an email at work and asked her this question: do you believe that for the most part, women are superior to men? I was at least 80% sure I already knew the answer. Moments later her response came back. 'Yes'. A few days later I gave her Sutton’s book, along with printed pages from websites. Some she read, some she didn’t. She scanned Sutton’s book, but as nearly as I could tell, she didn’t touch it again for two months or so. I don’t know that she ever visited any of the websites. But we did talk at least once a week about how we both agreed with many of the principles of a female superiority and authority. Just about six months after I first gave her Sutton’s book, we verbally agreed to pursue this lifestyle.