I went to the woods...

…because I wished to live deliberately. So wrote Henry David Thoreau in his book, “Walden”, about simplifying his life. I doubt I fully understood what he meant as I first read his words in high school, but I certainly understand them now. All things in life are relative. Certainly there were worldly pressures in Thoreau’s day and age (1817-1862) that compelled him to retreat to the woods to live in a one-room cabin he built for $28.12. I’m not naïve enough to think I can escape reality by following Thoreau into the wilderness, but I often wish for a less stressful world that is not spinning so rapidly it sometimes feels as if I get dizzy the moment my feet touch the floor in the morning.

After I met my second wife and as our relationship gained momentum, I purchased a book entitled “What Your Mother Never Told You and Your Father Didn’t Know”. I wanted to learn things I apparently hadn’t known in my first marriage and did not wish to repeat the second time around. Alas, the book was so long and detailed so many intricacies of effective male/female relationships that seemed so complicated that I couldn’t remember what I had read from one chapter to another much less implement and maintain them. So I read another book, then another and another. In between I listened to tapes too.

Go to a large book store, or click on Amazon and you’ll see A LOT of self-help material out there about dating, and finding a mate, and being romantic, and improving marriage, and great sex, and greater sex, and “wall socket sex”, and how to light his fire, and how to light her fire, and how to perform cunnilingus, and how to perform fellatio and so on and so on. That’s when it dawned on me there is a huge proliferation of this material because there must be an equally huge market for it. And this of course means there must be scores of people out there who are looking to “fix” relationship woes.

This is not to say that my time spent reading self-help books was wasted. Some I truly enjoyed, and many included useful information I believe would benefit anyone as a person, whether dominant, submissive or vanilla. While none of them even remotely eluded to female authority, I think in my case, they set the stage for what was yet to come. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “All speech is but a dead language until it finds the ear of a prepared and willing listener.” When I eventually read about the principles of and the rationale calling for FemDom and wife-led marriage, my mind was at a place where I thought, “Now THIS makes sense!”

Though I hadn’t consciously harbored submissive feelings, one aspect of FemDom that appealed to me was how it offered an opportunity to live more deliberately, to simplify my life so to speak. The rules were decidedly uncomplicated. Simply because my wife is a female, she is superior. Simply because I am her husband, I am her sub ordinate. Interpretation is unnecessary and there is no room for ambiguity. There is a Thoreauvian quality in the simplicity of boundaries that are black and white, with gray areas only as the more compassionate and nurturing of the genders allows. Having considered the substantial evidence suggesting this is actually as nature intended and can lead to a better quality of life, I accepted this as a natural law. Now I need only trust in the wisdom of nature, and focus on allowing nature to run it’s course by submitting to the authority of my wife as my Goddess. In a world in which complexity seems to increase exponentially, I find comfort and serenity in this simplicity.