I Get No Kick from Champagne


But I do get a kick when I hear that lock click… SHUT… LOCKED... and only I hold the key! PSD, personal security device is what I like to call it. VK wears his obediently :-) In all honesty I don't even think he needs one. Though I thought it was a little barbaric at first, when VK and I spoke of it, I could see him becoming submissive. So I could tell it was something we wanted in our relationship. Besides, a little fun and excitement is always a good thing . So why not? I think people are too afraid to live a little and try new things. I mean, what’s the big deal?

I used the little lock this week. I told VK to put on his PSD on Monday night when we went to bed. Once he had himself situated, he presented himself for my inspection and handed me the lock. I slid it through the locking pin and I have to say---I LOVE the CLICK it made when I snapped it shut!!! The next morning as he was walking around the bedroom, the lock was clacking against the plastic pretty darn loud as he moved---another thing I LOVED to hear! He sent me an email later in the day and said "Sounds like something in my pocket rattling." Of course I was sitting at my desk grinning ear to ear :-) I had the key to that lock in my jean skirt pocket. Throughout the day I fondled it and thought about my husband, my knight (and my slave) being locked up until I decide to let him out—WOW!!!

A few days ago I told VK I thought all men should wear a PSD. Maybe not all the time but some of the time because men think with their little heads way too much. They need to wake up and smell the coffee. There’s so much more to women and relationships than popping their cork. I was married before to a man who I sometimes think sees life as all about having sex and the rest just waiting for the next orgasm. We had a good sex life, but he’d often say when I refused him, “If it feels good, why don’t you want to do it all the time?” I gave him way too many mercy fucks just to keep him from getting pissy. Live and learn—learning is something I’m still doing. I wish I knew when I was younger some of what I know now. Maybe it’s better this way that things happen in their own time.

I’m learning more and more about this lifestyle. About a side of me I didn’t know I had. And about my husband. VK has become such a good submissive. I can honestly tell you all that this is something I NEVER saw him doing. I read where many submissive men say they knew they are submissive early in life. VK says he never did. I believe him, so this made me wonder sometimes if he might have been grasping at FemDom in desperation as a way to save a relationship that we somehow couldn’t seem to get right in spite of the love we felt for each other. I know now he is genuinely submissive and I guess he just never “got it” before because over the past few years he has changed so much and become such a better man, father and husband. This lifestyle has made such a difference in our lives. I believe things happen for a reason so this musta been meant to be for us.

I read the comments on our blog and see where other dominant women say how VK is such a good submissive. Thank you ladies. I know he likes that recognition and so you’re helping to push one of those buttons I talked about in another post :) You also say I am lucky to have such a man. And you’re right, I am. But as dominant women, you know better than most that it takes a good woman to straighten a man out, and a loving domme to really put his ass on the straight and narrow with the direction he needs. I’m always telling VK what a lucky man he is, especially after I look in a mirror LOL! But truth be told, we know we are both very lucky people.

The business I am in is very busy right now. So I don’t have much free time to write on our blog. Wish I did because this lifestyle has changed our life in so many positive ways---not just at home but at work too! It is enabling me to be the woman that I truly am and I want to help promote it as much as I can. It does take a little work and preparation, but I think that is what is wrong with the vanilla world. People take and get taken for granted and eventually shut down and stop talking---about everything that matters. I have read many articles in which the sex has even stopped in a lot of marriages. Reasons---many. If you don't have the line of communication open, you are destined to fail and this is true in almost anything we do. So if there are people out there that aren't sure about this lifestyle or are afraid to approach their spouse or significant other about it (and I know there are many!) then shame on you. How can you possibly expect to have a meaningful, honest relationship if you cannot communicate about what is important to you?


Strongnsubmissive said...

To watch the two of you blossom into roles where the both of you shine is a fantastic journey. I'm sure with previous relationships, not understanding or at least hiding who you really were was a constant challenge. I can see the jubilation in your words when you blog V, it's great that you are happy. No more beating a round peg into a square hole and wondering why you're not entirely fulfilled. I hope you'll find time to blog. I'm sure many readers will agree, that being able to peek into your mind about D/s is an invaluable help in their own lives. Thanks for sharing.

Biff said...

Dear Goddess V,
As a couple, your willingness to try to new things to examine first hand their potential in your relationship is extremely admirable. I am also finding out that being open to the new and the different means being open to the exciting and the fun. And when a couple maintains the excitement and the fun, their relationship keeps one of the dimensions that brought them together in the first place.
You and VK are an inspiration to me!

helpmate hubby said...

Wonderful insights Goddess V, your input is always so interesting. I'd be curious as to how the lifestyle has improved your work life as well.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever looked at www.slavespath.net? The FemDom relationship described there seems to have run out of steam. One could say that "there must have been a failure to communicate", but that would only remind me of a scene in the movie "Cool Hand Luke".

Jamie said...

Yup - it's all about communication. What a wonderful set of insights about how important that is, so much more than what form the relationship takes.

Sex is (most often) the most intimate thing that we do. And that's the intimacy that gets lost and buried under 10 or 15 years of being parents, having careers, and having lives.

The risks we take by having the conversations that lead up to a wife-led marriage are the things that make the relationship work. Seeing you and VK write about it and work at it is really inspiring for those of us trying to get there.


Anonymous said...

I am a 47 year old new bride who has a husband who like to tie me up and likes to be tied up. He likes to be as he puts it "at my will" I am so clueless. I have no idea how to do this but I'm ready to try. I need some suggestions. I'd really like to start soft and work our way up. Yes, I knew my husband was kinky when I married him. But I didn't know I was. Right now he's in the shower and I'm searching for something to get the night started. Something soft but erotic. Any suggestions for our future would be great.
Also...how do you come up with what your submissive calls you. I've been thinking of names for a week and haven't found the right one yet.