FemDom by any other name


I got to thinking it might be a good idea to restate what may (or may not) seem to some to be the obvious. Quite a few terms are bandied about when it comes to this particular mindset or lifestyle. Below I've listed some of the ones I’ve seen, and I’m sure there are more. In my mind, they all pretty much mean the same thing: the male submits to the authority of a dominant female. Our blog is about this dynamic taking place in a marriage; thus, I would fine tune it by saying “male submission to a loving, dominant female”

Unfortunately all marriages do not necessarily include the L-word. Ours however includes lots of it, so that descriptor works for us quite well. For me, the love element, more so than any other aspect of this lifestyle, is most important. There are some men for whom the need to be dominated by a woman is so strong, that if for one reason or another this need is not satisfied by the wife, they will seek it outside the marriage. I’m not one of those guys.

  • Female Authority
  • Loving Female Authority
  • Caring Female Authority
  • FemDom
  • Female Domination
  • Female-Led Relationship
  • Wife-Led Relationship
  • Wife-Led Marriage

I suspect the term people shy away from more than any other is the term FemDom, which is shorthand for female domination. Undoubtedly this is because it conjures up images of a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix doing all sorts of humiliating things to her male submissive. The nasty D-word is the culprit. By definition, the word is threatening. If you take the word out of the equation, things begin to take on a decidedly less threatening shade of blue… or is that black/blue. In fact, since women seem to have a way of ending up controlling most marriages, descriptors such as “Female-Led Relationship” begin to sound downright mainstream.

My advice is not to get too hung up on the terms themselves. Goddess V does not dress up in leather and whip me senseless until I’m reduced to a quivering mass of humiliated pond scum. Yet I have no problem referring to our relationship as one that is FemDom based. After all, Goddess V is a female and she does assume a dominant role to which I submit. Bingo. Whatever else our relationship may or may not include, the term FemDom is perfectly appropriate.


subservient-husband said...

I agree that the wife in a WLM should make all decisions on how the relationship should work. For some, this is w/o corporal punishment. For others this is even w/o orgasm management. Other wives enjoy the effect of corporal punishment or use it as a reward for their husband with masochistic traits. In whatever form it takes, as long as the wife is leading and not just catering to the kink desire of her husband, then IMHO, it is a WLM. The boundaries I do not think can really be defined well as there are as many forms the dynamic can take as woman are unique. One wife may enjoy being served b-fast in bed, while another may enjoy cooking b-fast and just having the husband do the shopping. One wife may like to do the shopping, but doesn’t want to pay any bills or come up with the budget and delegates that to the husband. One wife may enjoy hairbrush paddlings for correction, another may enjoy another form of corrective discipline (orgasm denial, lack of communication, time out standing in a corner).

Anyway the list can go on forever.

I liked your post. It really got me thinking.

Anonymous said...

Great site!!! My submissive husband/slave and I found this recently and it couldn't be better for us. We are a WLR couple, in our 50's, and life couldn't have gotten any better for me since we started our WLR about 3 years ago, after 25 plus years of marriage. It's never too late to start. It also very easy for us because our chilren have married and moved out, so it's just the 2 of us. He serves me all of the time and I can punish him any time I like. More later.

VeezKnight said...

Right you are: It is never too late to start.