Power and Control


"It would be pleasant, sir, to walk beside thee and hear thee condemn me for my sins." -- Lillian Gish in The Scarlet Letter, 1926

I happened to catch part of a television program a few weeks ago about a family with 16 children that was building a house for themselves. What struck me was a scene in which a friend who was helping the family meets a female interior designer who had agreed to help decorate the home. She wasn’t mean or overbearing, but she carried an air of self-confidence and proceeded to tell this man with authority the projects she wanted him to undertake. Here was this somewhat burley but well groomed guy in his plaid shirt and carpentry belt who later looks at the camera and says, “I think most men are afraid of women.” And referring to the designer he added, “I sure am afraid of her.”

There is controversy among anthropologists as to whether early societies were matriarchal. Since no written records exist, most of what we know, or think we know, is based on relics that archeologists have uncovered. The story they tell is largely subject to interpretation. Regardless, we do know that patriarchy, with few exceptions, has prevailed throughout recorded history. Most recognize that these patriarchal societies have, to varying degrees, treated women oppressively. At worst women were treated as little more than beasts of burden and considered possessions of men. At best they were regarded as inferior and less intelligent creatures whose primary function was to have babies (preferably male ones) and to make life easier for their men. In America it’s only been since the 19th Constitutional Amendment became law on August 26, 1920 that women have even been considered intelligent enough to vote.

In the world according to VeezKnight, sociological events can somehow be linked to power, either the pursuit of power, the maintenance of power, the loss of power or the absence of power. And every society is essentially divided into two groups, those with power and those without. Inevitably, whether it be with benevolence or malevolence, those with power rule or somehow control those without. With this in mind, I don’t think it matters if matriarchy preceded patriarchy. Whether or not men rose to power or maintained it from the beginning, they have dominated women because they fear them. Why? Men know women have what they want and are wired by nature to crave. They know this gives women power over them, which could easily be used to control them. Rather than risk this, men have channeled their aggressive behavior into dominating and oppressing women, simply to keep them from fully realizing their potential for control.

Aggression is often a manifestation of insecurity and inner weakness. Nonetheless, in times when women were considered mere possessions, this tact has allowed men to simply take what they want. In more “enlightened” times as women rose along the social scale, it still prevented them from realizing the true potential of their feminine sexual power. Through it all, it was men who were behind teaching women to be ladies, not to flaunt their sexuality, to keep their legs together, to remain virgins until marriage. In ancient Rome and Greece, statues celebrated the human body, the male pallus often depicted in all its splendor. Statues of females however often have their genitalia discretely concealed. It was largely men who coined terms such as slut, whore, bitch and so forth. Would anyone seriously suggest that women created pornography?

One could argue that Nature intended homo sapiens to evolve in this manner. It’s why men were given larger size and greater strength, as well as a proclivity for aggression, violence and competition. With the roles of hunter, gather, came the roles of protector and defender. Oppression toward women came with the territory as an evitable part of the deal. Today however, at least in the civilized world, men are no longer hunters and gathers, and there is no longer much need for continual protection and defense against wild animals and neighboring hostile tribes. With the emerging equality between sexes, the boundaries defining our traditional roles as male and female are evaporating. Evaporating along with those boundaries is the opportunity for men to oppress, dilute or otherwise ignore the power of feminine sexuality. Without being able to identity women as “the adversary”, I think that in some ways, men have lost sight of their own purpose and identity.

Exacerbating this is how women are now better educated, more sure of themselves and more accepting of their sexuality. They excel in sports, the arts, academics, the sciences, politics and business, as well as occupy positions of leadership in all of those areas. Women now wield even more power in the mind of the male. It’s this image of authority and self-assuredness, combined with their sexuality that is digging deep into the male psyche to cultivate a seed planted by Mother Nature, a seed that has never been allowed to germinate. Perhaps Nature intended for it to sprout long ago, perhaps not until society had reached the point we are at today. Either way, the seed of submission to female authority is taking root and growing in male consciousness.


Queen'sKnight1 said...

What an intellegently written piece. I think you will find this article on CNN.com to be very illustrative of how women are now surpassing men in higher education. The software does not seem to textwrap properly when I preview this post, so if the URL does not appear as an active hyperlink, I apologize. Hopefully it can be copy/pasted into the "Open Location" window of the browser.


robert said...

This is so true the trend is growing and none to soon for this world. Women need to be in charge.

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Anonymous said...

Submissive behavior seems to be the trend amomg those who practice the life style assumed with this FLA type of relatonship. so be it, that is there right, however not all males share your ideas as to the future of males and there need for female guidance. The idea that you can dip your brush in one color of paint and paint a complete picture of man is simply wrong. Man come in all kinds of flavors as do women. Society has leaders and we have followers, you have chosen to be a follwer and that is your right. Your wife is a leader and that is great, I am a leader and I am a male. I built a company from nothing and made it into a successful interprize. This was accomplish with no help or guidance from a women. Don't get me wrong, I love women and there intellect and other qualities. I just want to make a point that men can be and are successful without the aid of a women. Have a good day

Anonymous said...

A disturbing trend is emerging in our western world and that is people are no longer looking to marriage as a ideal life style. Many children are now being raised without the benifet of two parents.
In most cases the mother raises the child. This leaves the male child without the benifet of male role model. Case studies have shown that this child is headed for trouble in latter life. He is more likely to use drugs and get into trouble when he matures. In many cases the child wonders through life in immarent with no clear goals or desires for fulfillment. Could it be that submissive behavior is a off shoot of this problem. I wonder?

JustAnotherGuy said...

To the last anon comment regarding submissiveness being an "off shoot of this problme":

I grew up in a very happy home. I had a loving, nurturing mother who stayed home with me until I attended Kindergarten, and through her teaching, I was already at a 2nd grade level. I also had a strong father who left for his blue collar job very early in the morning and because of this, he was home and spent a great deal of time with me in the afternoons after school and at night. We had dinner together. We vacationed together. There was discipline from both sides, predominated from my father but my mother played her part. There was nothing, on the surface level, that would suggest that my childhood had anything to do with why I enjoy being submissive to my wife. My who, who I should add, is 12 years my junior. We are only beginning this journey, but so far, we have both found it to fit us like a glove. It's been the best thing that has ever happened to either of us.

To suggest that this lifestyle is an off shoot of a problem is offensive and narrow-minded. Different people enjoy different things. No two people are alike, and no two couples are alike. My situation would suggest that your theory is flawed. I also love how of the limited number of negative comments that I've read on this blog, 100% have been from those who wish to remain anon. Just my thoughts.

To VK and Goddess:
I've thoroughly enjoyed your blog. Your's has been the most insightful blog on FLR I've read.

VeezKnight said...

To Justanotherguy,
I just read your comment to GoddessV and we agree: what a heart felt and honest post. We are always amazed at how so many couples (and singles) tell us that they find so much positive in our blog. Honestly, I am feeling guilty for not having posted in so long. Thank you for your thoughts and your kind words.