International Women’s Day

A global day of celebration, March 8th is a day on which thousands of events are held throughout the world connecting all women around the world to recognize their accomplishments and to inspire them to achieve their full potential. IWD is certainly a good thing, but I think it’s interesting that while the world sets aside a meager one day each year to celebrate the glory of being a women, those of us fortunate to be in wife-led marriages and female-led relationships celebrate it every day of the year.

Tintinnabulation, chocolate chip cookies and other creative ways to discipline your man

This dominant matriarch went from baking chocolate chip cookies with the grandkids to ordering grand pop to worship her gnarly feet before she thumps his ass with the same wooden spoon she used to mix the cookie batter. I’m thinking: this ain’t your average submissive man’s fantasy when it comes to domestic discipline. Submissive men tend to have ideas in their heads, often artfully constructed ideas, governing how they see themselves being controlled and disciplined. Reality however, usually plays out differently.

Over in the VOT Forum they’ve been sharing real-world methods that some of the dominant women members use to enforce and maintain control over their submissive men. There’s definitely spanking going on in many of the wife-led households, but it’s often cited that the challenge with this is a submissive man often enjoys being spanked. So what’s the point of using spanking as discipline? Ditto for other forms of discipline and enforcement. And no, the lady pictured in the photo is not Goddess V. She just happens to be wearing pink pumps that look very similar to Goddess V's. Apparently both dominant ladies were attracted to the same shoes. Imagine that.

Fantasies aside, it comes down to finding practical disciplinary procedures and other effective methods for a dominant woman to send her man the message that She is in charge. VOT ladies have suggested that if a man enjoys being spanked, a better way to discipline is not to give a spanking but to withhold it. I guess you could say the rule of thumb here is to find something he likes and take it away: a favorite TV show, the Internet, etc… Other methods they use include “parking” their man, (having him stay in one place without moving); corner time (with or without the stool and the dunce cap); holding a coin against a wall with his nose; sleeping on the floor; not allowing their man to worship them in whatever ways they normally enjoy. The list goes on, with the emphasis on being creative and variation of the enforcement methods.

People are apt to consider discipline and punishment as being the same thing, so I think it important to draw a distinction between the two. Discipline is an on-going regiment meant to achieve and maintain a certain behavior. In this case of course the desired behavior is the male’s submission to the female’s authority. As such, discipline may include a reminder of consequences if the desired regiment is not maintained. Punishment on the other hand IS the consequence that is incurred when the desired regiment is not maintained.

I personally have come to believe that domestic discipline is a necessary part of a wife-led marriage. I won’t speak for all submissive men (you guys can chime in if you like), but speaking strictly for myself, I feel as if I need a routine of discipline. Sometimes more so than others. Sometimes more than what Goddess V subjects me to. You can keep the dog crate for use with Fido, but I do happen to like being spanked. But wait. Let me back up a little. I like the IDEA of being spanked. I suppose it has to do with the feeling of vulnerability and humiliation of being turned over a woman’s knee. Yes, it also has an erotic nature to it, especially when the spanking leads to play time. But make no mistake: not being a masochist, I do not enjoy the pain. So at least on a conscious level, I can’t say I ever deliberately misbehave just to receive a spanking.

So how about a few more imaginative ways to discipline or punish a problem sub hub. Hey, how about putting a lock on the cookie jar instead of you-know-what? No more homemade chocolate chip cookies! Or how about having hubby clean house au natural with a couple of bells tied to his tallywhacker while he recites Edgar Allen Poe:
…the swinging and the ringing… the jingling and the tinkling… the tintinnabulation that so musically wells from the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells…

Incidentally, this photo shown is of an actual wind chime that was excavated from the ruins of Pompeii. Residents of that ancient city surely must have been a fun loving lot.

GoddessV got a new pair of shoes

But that’s really only a small part of a story that begins a few years ago when we first visited a small restaurant and cocktail lounge not far from where we live. Inside we met a friendly staff and a clientele that was mostly in our age bracket. The atmosphere was pleasant, the food was very good and the prices were reasonable. Later in the evening we slow danced to songs we requested from a husband/wife singing duo who entertained on the weekends. We were hooked.

Friday evenings at this establishment became a weekly routine for us. It was a date night so to speak that took us off the beaten path and away from our normal circle of friends. We got to know the manager, the bar tenders, the entertainers and many of the couples who also frequented the place. But we were still able to stay to ourselves and talk just to each other if that’s what we wanted. We could mingle with other couples when we wanted. We slow danced when we wanted, mostly with each other, but sometimes with others. Goddess V sometimes put on a show when the entertainers sang “Tequila Maker Her Clothes Come Off.” Friday nights were an outing we looked forward to each week. Then it all changed.

Management objectives changed in order to attract a younger crowd. The manager of the establishment was fired. Much of the staff left. Beer signs appeared on the walls. The dance floor was mostly covered with video machines. The singers were fired and replaced with young, loud bands. Goddess V and I soon stopped frequenting the place, and so did nearly all of the people we’d gotten to know there. For about a year and a half we lamented over what had happened and wished we could find another similar place were we could talk and dance and generally reconnect at the end of each week. We never found such a place. And then a minor miracle occurred.

This past Friday night found us back in our old stomping grounds. Quite unexpectedly. The singers were back. A friend or ours had been hired as the new manager. Many of the people we’d gotten to know turned out to kick off what we hope will be a return to what we all enjoyed so well. It was like old times. We ate, we drank, we talked, we laughed, we danced to some of our favorite songs. It was all so comfortable and familiar it felt as if we’d come back home.

For about five hours we were much more than a domme and her submissive. Of course that is what we are, but apart from our D/s relationship, we were a middle-aged married couple who enjoy each other’s company enough to be able to have fun together and be happy. And the fact that Goddess V was wearing a new pair of hot pink pumps certainly didn’t mar the evening. They did not go unnoticed by several of the men.