Children having flown

Among the few women I dated during my years in college, there was one particular sorority girl who gave me something to think about outside of what I was learning in class. In those days, when you first got together, conversation centered around subjects such as your course load, which Psych profs were okay and which weren't, whose asses our football team was gonna kick next (we were a Big Ten powerhouse), and whether or not the Beatles might get back together. Later, you progressed to more personal stuff such as family background. It was at this level when my sorority girl shared with me how, now that she was in college, her parents were probably going to get divorce--after 30 years of marriage. They only had stayed together until she and her older sister had grown up and left home.

Later, I had occasion to stay at my girl friend's home for a few days. She'd been raised in a modest but comfortable brick rancher in typical middle-class suburban neighborhood. Her mom was a diminutive and personable lady who stood all of about five-foot one. Family members called her Big Martha. Her dad seemed somewhat older and nice enough, but as I recall, a bit on the dull side. Both parents were very good to me during my visit, maybe better than they were to each other. Mom made me the first homemade french fries I had ever eaten, and vanilla pudding because it was my fav. Dad helped me out of a jam caused by serious car trouble that had left me stranded.

I remember marveling, both during my visit and for long afterward, at how it could be possible that these two nice people, any two people for that matter, could build a life together over so many years and raise two wonderful children, only to prefer to fold up the tents and go their separate ways (well, one of them did anyway). At the age of 19, this was the first time I had been exposed to this sad side of marriage in our society. Wow, was I ever naive.

A middle-aged wife looks at her balding husband from across the breakfast table. She sees only that he is unshaven, his hairy beer belly spilling out between the hem of his yellowed undershirt and the tattered waistband of his boxer shorts. There was a time when she might suggest they explore a flea market she saw advertised in the Penny Saver. Now she knows better than to talk for fear of interrupting a crucial segment of the morning news on television. Instead she silently plans to visit the flea market alone, to shop for some new second-hand toys for when the grand kids come to visit.

During a commercial break for Cialis, the woman's husband reiterates to his masculine ego how had his wife not gained 75 pounds, replete with sagging breasts and cellulite dimpled ass, he is confident he could once again maintain the magnificent, stiff erection of his youth. When his wife mentions she plans to go shopping, he makes a mental note to use his time alone in the house to visit his favorite Internet porn sites. Holy crap! This is it for the duration... and two of the Beatles are fucking dead!

Going on 40 years after my college days, after a combined 50+ years of marriage and having varying numbers of children in our home(s) for 30 years, GoddessV and I are about to become empty nesters. And so, like the couple described above, will sharing a breakfast table be about the only thing we have in common? To be sure, life without kids in the house will surely be different. Yes, there are a few things to be sad about as any parent with grown kids knows. But over all, there are plenty of great reasons to celebrate. One of those reasons just happens to be the impact having no kids in the home will have on our femdom relationship. Even as I think about it, it's difficult to fully imagine.

Happy New Year!

Tonight we'll ring in 2010 with a blue moon, the second full moon this month. The New Year’s Eve blue moon will be visible in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America and Africa. A New Year’s Eve blue moon occurs only once every 19 years and won't come again until 2028. Of course the blue moon won’t actually be blue. I didn't bother to take the time to surf the Net to find out why it's called a blue moon, but it has nothing to do with its color and everything to do with something that is rare, special or uncommon.

Femdom marriages are still pretty rare and uncommon. Or so it seems. But they are indeed special. Based on emails I periodically receive, as well as posts on a forum to which I belong, the rarity isn't due to a dearth of wannabe submissive men out there. As the decade winds down, many of them are mustering the courage to suggest this lifestyle to the women they love. Others have but alas have been "shot down". I really don't quite get this, because if two people love each other, what the heck is so wrong with at least trying something your partner suggests? How does one know it won't work or be so horrible without trying? Still other men are actively looking for a dominant woman with whom they might establish the femdom or FLR lifestyle.

GoddessV and I will soon be going out to our favorite restaurant/bar to have some fun with whatever friends who happen to be there. But we'll be back home well before the ball completes its journey over Times Square. One of GoddessV's surprising characteristics is that she doesn't much care if people discover the truth about our lifestyle, yet the thought of being on the road with late-night drunk drivers freaks her out. Image that.

Nonetheless there will be time enough this evening for us to drink a toast to male submission to female authority. We hope that many around the world join us in our toast so that 2010 is a year in which it becomes less a blue moon rarity. GoddessV and I wish each and every reader of our blog a very happy and healthy new year!

Study indicates submissive sexual behavior in women reduces their arousal

Less than satisfactory sex may be brought on by thoughts of submission, which can lower arousal, says a study from the University of Michigan. The study, as published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests that women, but not men, automatically associate sex with submission. Apparently submissive men were not accounted for, because it further indicates that this connection reduces the quality of the sexual experience.

The research findings show that women implicitly associate sex with submission, which leads to them feeling as though they assume a submissive sexual role. This in turn leads to impaired or lack of arousal due to reduction in their sense of sexual autonomy. Researchers postulate that our current social norms promote deference to men and that magazines, television and movies "commonly display male sexual dominance over women as well as female sexual submission to men.” Duh… do yuh think? Oh, and don't forget the teachings of many religions adding to the mainstream media message.

That women may have unconsciously picked up the message that they should be sexually submissive raises the possibility that women have internalized this societal pressure. Says researcher, Amy Kiefer, "The more women reported engaging in submissive behaviors, the less arousal they reported experiencing from a range of sexual activities.” She further hypothesized, “The problem with submissive behavior seems to be that women don't experience these submissive behaviors as authentic or native expressions of their selves. Submission to their partners’ desires appears to undermine their ability to assert themselves within the sexual context.”

Hmmm, do yuh think it just might undermine their behavior in other ways as well? Furthermore, if the study suggests that women are not natively submissive, does this support the notion that women are inherently dominant?