Is anyone else annoyed at how men are commonly being portrayed in television commercials these days? I’m not sure when this trend began, but it seems to have been going on for a while and shows no signs of stopping. In fact it seems to be getting worse. Far too often, men are stereotypically being portrayed as… well, as stupid asses.
A dim-witted husband earns a scowl from his wife when he returns from a store with the wrong grocery item. A young man in a cafe foolishly says he’d save his beer from falling over a cliff instead of saving his faithful dog OR his sexy girlfriend (oh, for chrissakes). A middle-age man’s reflection in store window has to talk the guy into admitting to his doctor that his pecker has gone missing the wood. Meanwhile, another husband is mystified at how his wife can make their whiz-bang new air freshener spray smelly stuff while he can’t (push the button, stupid). Still another clueless hubby searches the fridge for yummy snacks as his wife describes to a friend on the phone how she enjoyed Boston cream pie dessert for lunch. That a yogurt manufacturer might be getting creative with naming product flavors is apparently too bewildering a concept for this fellow. The only cream pie he is likely to find will be between the legs of his wife.
A television ad that really plucks my last nerve is the sexist moron who sees a shapely female plumber in tight slacks enter his neighbor’s home, and proceeds to feverishly dump all manner of household items into his own toilet. Presumably, if he can clog it up in time while the lady plumber is still in the neighborhood, he’ll have a chance to gawk at her ass up close and personal. Alas, just as the moron empties a 20-pound bag of dog food into his shitter, his wife arrives on the scene to bring his ridiculous fantasy to a screeching halt.
Kohler, what the hell were you people thinking? God forbid they should show the guy just as he has risen from his toilet and is buckling his trousers. He turns around and looks downward to inspect his latest deposit (lets face it, all men do this) and, concerned over its meatiness, he crosses his fingers as he works the flush lever, or perhaps gazes upward as if asking for Devine assistance to save him from the nasty business of snaking or plunging all that poop. Flush… whoosh… happy days. Our man smiles at the camera and simply says, “All gone!”Speaking of meaty, I’m reminded of my ex brother-in-law who, after many days of suffering from impacted bowels caused by rectal surgery, “gave birth” to what would come to be known as “the meatloaf shit” that his father had to beat with a stick before it would flush. Okay… admittedly, TMI, and no bathroom fixture manufacturer would ever be interested in THIS story. But you know what, at least it has a lot more to do with reality than does a man flushing his wife’s African violet and Fido’s dinner, just to get a peek at a female plumber’s shapely posterior.
I wonder: are these ads being written and produced by women? Some, maybe, but surely not all. So why does Madison Avenue seem to want to portray men in this manner? Is this their idea of the true American male? If so, some of those ad people need to get involved in femdom relationships… maybe join the She Makes the Rules forum on wife-led marriage. They’d have a chance to rub elbows with real-life men such as yours truly who, despite maintaining submissive roles in our homes, are anything but the moronic buffoons we are being made out to be. We who voluntarily submit to loving female authority are WAY too smart to flush anything belonging to the women we worship.
