Sometimes life has a way of directing us away from the straight and narrow path we often envision for ourselves. Not that FemDom is all that “straight”. LOL, you get the idea. But that’s the way life is. You gotta go with it, deal with it and move on. Otherwise it can eat you up inside. I’m better at this than VeezKnight. Not because I’m a woman and he’s a man, but because that’s just the way I am. Aside from my gorgeous looks, this is one of my qualities that attracted him to me in the first place. ☺
Going into Spring we had a lot of plans. This included finally completing some long overdue home remodeling projects as well as changes and improvement in other areas of our life. Most of it went to crap. We also had unexpected and out of the ordinary expenses, as well as many family obligations that kept me rooted in my role as mother, sister, daughter.
I think it was in March that we had one of our hot tub talks when I told VK how lousy I had been feeling for the past year. He knew this already, but I also confessed certain fears I was experiencing about my health and how frustrated I was because it was an obstacle in many areas of our relationship. We would say we would start making time for this, or we would start doing that, but nothing would happen. To be sure, this wasn’t always “my fault,” but I was feeling guilt and dissatisfaction that often it was because I was constantly exhausted, or my libido was practically nonexistent, or because there were other constraints on my/our time. Then wouldn’t ya know but right about then VK came down with a debilitating physical injury. So much for the physical labor necessary to carry out our home improvement plans.
Anyway, VK did a lot of research on the Internet and diagnosed me with hypothyroidism. I’d been tested for that before but never officially diagnosed or put on medication. He encouraged me to “insist” my doctor test me yet again. So I did. You know how it is when you get blood work done. You worry that they might find something wrong. This time I was worried about the opposite, that they WOULDN’T find something wrong. As VK had learned, the medical industry has changed the standards considered to indicate normal thyroid function. My doc confirmed this and sure enough, my blood tests revealed I was now well within the abnormal range. This pisses me off in a way because for years I have been told that, despite having five or six of the common ten to twelve symptoms, blood tests showed nothing out of whack. Then suddenly, oops, we’ve decided to shorten the yardstick. Now you’re 5’5” instead of 5’8”.
The good news is that within 3 days of taking medication, I began to feel better. Also, last week VeezKnight had surgery to correct his problem. Right now he is still a miserable pain in my ass due to post surgery pain, but that is improving every day. And he is bitching about all of our plans that haven’t gotten done… and won’t in the near future. I know he is also feeling frustrated about how I have definitely not been feeling like a goddess these past months. This is going to change.
My point in all of this isn’t to solicit sympathy from anyone. We all have challenges, obligations and plain old crap in our lives that we’ve gotta deal with. It’s called life. Being in a FemDom marriage doesn’t make us any different than anyone else. It’s true that I haven’t much felt like a goddess lately, and VK hasn’t been as good a submissive as he has been in the past. But this will change. Now that we see light at the end of the tunnel, I plan to have discussions with him about how we might get back on track. I know he’ll have a few suggestions too.
I also plan to outline a few ways that VK can share more of the responsibility in maintaining our dominant/submissive relationship. And maybe some steps we can take to help him be less negative about some things. I think that negativity is nothing more than a bad habit that can be broken. Hopefully I’ll find the time to write about all of this in another post. VK and I will talk things over and I’ll decide on how we’ll proceed. He gets a vote, but I get a vote and a half. That’s part of the beauty of a wife led marriage. And if some of it doesn’t work for us then we’ll readjust as we go. We both agree on what we want, we just need to work around setbacks in getting there.
