This landmark ebook was written by Georgeann Cross. An early Internet champion of female domination, she completed and posted her book way back in 1997. It’s in PDF format and free to anyone who cares to download it — most likely for the same reason Elise Sutton does not charge to view her monthly updated website. These are women who are more concerned with sharing their teachings than with making money. While they differ somewhat in their approaches, one can see definite parallels in the social change they advocate: stronger, more passionate relationships between men and women and a more peaceful world through female dominance.
Georgeann Cross is not a pro dominatrix or a female supremacist. Nor is she a militant feminist. Throughout her book she makes it clear that she appreciates and loves men. However, through many years of experience, she has developed an uncanny insight into the male psyche, that they should, need, and even want to be controlled by the woman they love. Ms. Cross presents some rather compelling arguments for a woman to establish and maintain her sexual power over her man, particularly with respect to reviving and sustaining the initial passion that occurs (then wanes) in a relationship between a man and a woman.
I know I am preaching to the choir to those of you already in this lifestyle. I don't agree everything Cross says, but for anyone interested in pursuing FemDom and female authority, I would highly recommend you give this book a read. Her lively and entertaining style, along with her sense of humor and non-threatening demeanor, probably make it especially appropriate for any woman who may be considering adopting this lifestyle at the request of the man in her life, which, as most of us who are in this lifestyle know, is often the case.
Ms. Cross’s book can be found at www.francescaspizza.com. Considering the subject matter, that's an odd name for a URL, but if you read the book, it'll make sense. All paragraphs in italics that follow are excerpts from her work (I have paraphrased in a few instances) and remain the sole property of Georgeann Cross.
Ms. Cross writes, “I’d like female domination to become so nearly universal that no heterosexually active man can escape our civilizing influence. That can happen only through the cumulative effort of a great many women. The techniques of female domination have tremendous potential for good… [Though] they also have potential for mischief, whether intentional or thoughtless… I’m confident the good will far outweigh the harm, and someday we’ll all be at peace. Women in general are decent, especially compared with men… Men, by nature, have as much good in them as we do. Sadly, most have been taught to keep it hidden — to keep up their guard and seek control over others. They’ve learned that good is a sign of weakness and that they have to appear strong lest they be abused and exploited. The way to appear strong is to act mean.
“Female domination offers such great hope because it gives you a way of nurturing the good in your man, of persuading him to leave behind the fears and defenses of adolescence, of encouraging him to act in accordance with the most noble of his predilections. And it gives you a way to get started — a way to find the good in your partner.”
Georgeann Cross’s approach calls for dominating men by using irresistible female sexual power. Throughout her book she advises women how to turn a man into their personal sex/ love slaves and expounds the many benefits and affects this has on a committed relation. She is neither a female supremacist nor a professional dominatrix. She uses light bondage to help create and reinforce a psychological Catch 22 that she calls The Loop. Essentially, she creates in a man’s mind a need to resist her attempts to sexually stimulate him, such as asking him to agree to do something he doesn’t want to do while stimulating him. Then she proceed to prove to him that he cannot prevent himself from getting turned-on despite his objections (provided he is bound – most often spread-eagle on a bed -- and cannot physically resist or escape).
Her basic definition of a male love slave is as follows. However, she makes it clear that this is only a starting point. The rules may include anything a woman decides upon.
- He has to be completely faithful and not have sex with anyone else.
- He must take off as much of his clothing as she tells him when alone together and let her touch any part of his body any way she wishes.
- He must touch her any way she tells him, or not touch her if that’s what she says.
- He must allow her to tie him up whenever she wants.
- He must masturbate while she watches if she tells him to.
- He must tell her all of his secrets and fantasies.
- She will almost always be on top when they have intercourse.
Ms. Cross explains, “Consider this little-considered truth about the relationship between the sexes: If a man is horny to begin with, and the sexual chemistry between you is such that you naturally turn him on, and he’s physically unable to resist [tied up], you can make him have an orgasm; his will alone can’t prevent it.
“It’s easy to see why this truth is so obscure. The situation doesn’t come up in most people’s lives. A man is rarely put in a position where he’s unable to resist what a woman might do, and when it happens, it’s not in the presence of a woman whose intentions are sexual. Even among couples who play at bondage the situation is rare; when the man is tied up, the woman doesn’t create in his mind a need to resist the stimulation she offers. Besides, we’ve been acculturated to a view of masculinity that tells us that men are always eager for sexual release. We’re not used to thinking that a man might be subjected to sexual stimulation and try to resist it. This in turn feeds the rarity of the occurrence; the situation has so seldom been set up because only a few women have thought to do it.”
Cross details how a man will be embarrassed at being so obviously turned on by this situation. Moreover, his embarrassment will turn-him on further, that all of the woman’s attention is focused on him, that she has taken control of his body, that she can elicit from him his most private thoughts and feelings, that he has no place to hide, that he is so intimately exposed to the woman in every way.
“Stripping the last bit of commentary from that explanation, we’re left with the simplest possible description of the psychological Loop in which a man finds himself when placed in this sort of situation: He’s embarrassed at being turned on and he’s turned on by his embarrassment. I call it the Loop because that’s its shape — a self-reinforcing cycle made up of two components, each of which fuels the other. The way I take control of a man’s sexuality is to set up this Loop in his mind and feed it, doing this to add to his sexual arousal and that to add to his embarrassment.
Irresistible power
“There are two reasons it’s important to understand that you’re irresistible. One is that it builds confidence. Confidence gives you an even sexier aura and makes you even harder to resist — an effect that’s magnified still further when your man is unable to interfere with what you might do. Confidence also keeps you from being bluffed off course. If you set up this sort of scene, especially if you do it for the purpose of gaining leverage in dealing with [what you consider to be] a problem in your relationship, many a man will try a bluff to get you to stop as soon as he sees what you’re up to. He’ll do it even while tied naked and helpless. He’ll ask in a disappointed tone, designed to make you feel guilty, whether you’re 'that kind of person.' He’ll tell you that what you’re doing turns him off, hoping to stop you before you’ve had a chance to make your own observation of the intensity with which it turns him on. He’ll tell you you’ll never see him again. He’ll tell you more things than I can warn you about. Whatever he tells you, it’s best met with a confident demeanor. You won’t always succeed this way, but almost always. If you lack confidence — if you let yourself be bluffed — you’ll never succeed.
“The other reason it’s important to know you’re irresistible is that if you’re to control your man completely, he has to know he can’t resist you, and he has to know that you know he knows. It’s actually necessary to demonstrate this to him, and to do so repeatedly throughout your relationship. “If that were the whole story of The Loop, its potential would be awesome enough, but there’s more. First, the Loop has a way of getting burned in — it quickly becomes a man’s habitual mode of arousal. If you press your body against his and kiss him, not only does his cock get hard, but he gets embarrassed by knowing that you can feel it. Without additional prompting he gets further excited by his embarrassment, by knowing that you know he’s embarrassed, and by imagining what you might do with both his hard cock and his embarrassment. Even your smile, by itself, teases him about the secrets you know and becomes a powerful erotic stimulant.
“Second, The Loop is addictive. Your lover begins to fantasize, even crave, scenarios in which his loss of control turns out to be especially embarrassing. His fantasies keep him turned on, and his awareness that it’s you who transforms fantasies into reality keeps him turned on to you in particular. As a consequence, his need for you is much stronger than it would be in an ordinary relationship. Because he needs you, he wants to please you. And his addiction to The Loop (and to you) can sometimes be made to compete with other, destructive [habits] he might have, giving you a degree of leverage in getting them under control.
“Third and best of all, The Loop can make a man love you with truly phenomenal intensity. We women have traditionally been more in love with our men than they with us. This is because we’ve opened ourselves up to them, shared our secrets, and been accepted. At least that’s how it was early on, when love was new. Later, if things went according to the usual pattern, we continued to share what was important to us, and our words were barely heard and dismissed as trivial. Not as good as what we started with, but a pretty fair substitute when you consider the alternatives: it’s better than being rejected and it’s better than feeling obliged to keep everything inside as men do.
“At the beginning of their relationships with us, men, too, open up and share their secrets. Love involves an exchange of vulnerabilities, and a relationship that doesn’t begin with mutual self-disclosure doesn’t get off the ground. Men, though, are raised to seek mastery over everything they encounter, including their women, so they soon find it necessary to erect barriers against us, hide their vulnerabilities, and do what they can to control us. In the process they lose the feeling of being in love, and it’s a great loss.
“The Loop is a vulnerability that your man has to share with you. Unless he goes to the unlikely extreme of ending your sexual relationship, he can’t avoid the Loop; you can make it part of any or every sexual encounter. And once you’ve got him turned on, he can’t refuse to share his feelings; even if he’s reticent, his body will tell you everything. When you comment on what it does, even if only by saying, 'Mm-hm,' he’ll know that you know!”
Sexual excitement
“The most obvious advantage of sexual slavery is that it’s tremendously exciting. After a while, a man in an ordinary relationship becomes sexually bored with his partner and comes to regard lovemaking as more duty than pleasure. If he’s not committed to the relationship, he seeks a new and therefore more exciting partner, then repeats the pattern until he makes a commitment before getting bored. When he gets bored with a partner to whom he’s committed, he stops making love. If his libido was weak to begin with, he becomes impotent. More commonly, he delivers brief, mechanical sexual performances devoid of emotion.
“Many women blame themselves when this happens. Some blame their partners. In actuality, blame is inappropriate. Men are wired to lose interest in a partner who’s always available. They can’t help it. Fortunately they’re also wired to turn on to the techniques of female domination; they can’t help that either. And the power of these techniques to excite is far greater than the tendency of monogamy to bore. If your man can’t have you whenever he wants, if he gets to experience that yummy little thrill only on your terms, boredom never sets in. He remains always a bit insecure, always eager to please you, always horny for you.
“A love slave spends much of his time in a state of sexual arousal. He may find this frustrating at times, but always exciting and never boring. I’ve heard of two love slaves in their seventies who were vigorously potent, and one of them had given up on sex in a conventional relationship fifteen years earlier, believing he was too old.
“A particularly introspective man might appreciate this, as might a man who has been rescued from sexual boredom without a change of partner, but a man of ordinary self-awareness who is sexually enslaved early in a relationship will likely attribute his state of continuous arousal to his lover’s attractiveness alone. And so much the better for her!”
Love
“Like sexual excitement, being in love is a delicious feeling. Men, control freaks that they are, rarely seek it; they seek sexual flings instead. Nevertheless men do fall in love early in their relationships and feel a loss when they assert dominion over their partners and the feeling goes away. Eventually a man reaches a point in his life where he becomes aware that he’s no longer in love with the woman he married and, unless he ends or at least risks his marriage, he’s doomed to live out his days without ever experiencing that feeling again. Grim.
“Female domination saves a man from that. A love slave is, first and foremost, in love with his partner, and the feeling doesn’t go away. Many factors contribute to this, among them the same insecurity that keeps him sexually excited, her sharing of his vulnerability with respect to The Loop, and his eidetic recollections of her teasing.
“As with sexual excitement, only an uncommonly experienced and introspective man will understand that his enslavement is what makes him love his partner with such enduring intensity. The average man will be aware only of being in love. Both will be emotionally committed.”
Intimacy
“Men crave intimacy but fear it. Generally fear wins. A woman who sexually enslaves her lover can tip the balance so he can enjoy being known by her.
“Early in a relationship, when a man is in love, he wants to share all his thoughts, feelings, fantasies, beliefs, hopes, dreams and fears. He rehearses what he’d like to say, but typically can bring himself to voice only a small fraction of what’s inside. He’s learned to keep it all to himself, and the learning is of a sort that’s difficult to overcome.
“As the relationship matures, he feels obliged to control it. The necessity of confronting his partner as an adversary when they have differences (for that’s how he sees it!) now makes self-disclosure impossible. The enemy might learn something she could use against him. This is war, and he has to win — has to expand and consolidate his control.
“From her point of view, the most appealing aspects of his personality have disappeared behind an impenetrable wall. From his point of view, he’s involved in a relationship recognized as the ultimate in intimacy by his friends, colleagues, church and state, and he’s emotionally isolated.
“Sexual slavery makes it easier for a man to talk openly with his partner about matters of emotional significance. It does this in several ways. If she uses her sexual power to take control of all aspects of the relationship, making whatever decisions there are to be made, he doesn’t have to be ready for battle. There isn’t going to be a battle, so there’s no tactical disadvantage in having a history of intimacy.
“If she considers his needs in making her decisions — and she would be foolish not to — he’ll learn that it’s in his best interest to let her know what those needs are. He’ll learn to prioritize them honestly as well. Some things matter to him a great deal, others only a little. There are preferences he might insist upon in an ordinary relationship that aren’t his at all, but represent instead what he thinks he owes his family or what he hopes will impress his buddies. If she considers his stated needs in good faith, her decisions will suit him best if he’s been honest with her. Intimate self-disclosure thus becomes a way of getting what he needs and wants.
“The Loop, by being a significant vulnerability he can’t help but share, gets him accustomed to being intimately known. Other secrets no longer seem so dark as to be worth hiding. In time, he learns his partner isn’t dangerous and he gets comfortable enough to talk openly about anything. Eventually he realizes she knows him quite well and loves him for who he is, rather than for the image he was trying to project when they met or for some utilitarian advantage. That’s a truly exhilarating high — one that the conventionally dominant man will never reach.
“Because he’s in love, he wants to share his thoughts, feelings, fantasies, beliefs, hopes, dreams and fears, just as at the beginning of a conventional relationship. And the love inspired by sexual slavery lasts, so he actually has a chance of communicating it all, then going on to share the changes that come with maturity and age. Happily ever after.”
