Speaking of "the good feeling"

I'm often surprised and amazed at how little some of us (men) really know about sex, especially when it comes to to the mechanics of ejaculation. Oh, we know what feels good, and we know we like it.. A LOT... but for many, that's about as far as it goes. I've read many posts in forums written by men who ask what I consider to be surprising questions or make comments based on what I know to be erroneous or misinterpreted information. So for the record, here are a few facts about the male's favorite toy:

1. An erection is NOT necessary to experience an orgasm or an ejaculation, either separately or in conjunction with one another. Really, I am here to assure you that this is true.

2. An orgasm can be experienced without having an ejaculation. Ask a man who has had his prostate removed due to cancer (the prostate is what produces the seminal fluid).

3. Prostate massage (the practice of milking that is often referred to among chastity aficionados) can produce a slow release of seminal fluid that will drain down and out of the penis. The release is slow and not to be confused with an ejaculation.


4. Prostate massage does not normally product an orgasm, however some men who use prostate stimulators such as the Aneros, say they can experience a "hands-off" orgasm with no direct stimulation of the penis. I'm thinking I need to get me one of these bad boys... just out of curiosity mind you... but I'm not sure it will meet Goddess V's stamp of approval if it means getting the good feeling too often.

5. Stimulation of the penis of some sort, though sometimes minimal, is normally necessary to produce an orgasm.

6. Mental "excitement" or stimulation is not an absolute necessity to product an orgasm.

7. A prolonged period of chastity is likely to produce a nocturnal emission, which is an event that cannot be consciously controlled by the male. A submissive man recently wrote that he is forbidden by his wife to have a wet dream even though she enforces extended periods of chastity. This seems a little unrealistic to me.

8. Neither physical nor mental stimulation is necessary to produce an erection: an erection can be produced chemically through the use of drugs. The oral drugs such as Viagra are not capable of producing an erection without sexual stimulation. Drugs such as alprostadil is injected directly into the penis, will cause an erection that can remain for several hours without any sexual stimulation whatsoever. Male porn stars who seem to be appear to go on, and on, and on have been known to use similar concoctions.

9. Prolonged physical and/or mental stimulation can cause the release of semen in preparation for discharge via ejaculation; if ejaculation does not follow (as in tease and denial) it can cause a painful condition of the groin or testicles commonly known as "blue balls." Some of this semen or seminal fluid is often later spontaneously released during urination.

10. There is no conclusive medical proof that insufficient draining of seminal fluid from the prostate is likely to cause prostate ill-health.

11. A vasectomy does NOT affect a man's ability to orgasm or ejaculate in any way. It simply eliminates sperm from traveling from the testicles where they are produced, through the Vas Deferens, to mix with seminal fluid before being ejaculated from the body. A vasectomy does not lower the sex drive, shrink the testicles, or cause man-boobs to grow (too much beer does that).

As for why some men are "shooters" when they ejaculate, and some are "dribblers" I have no idea. I do know that the state of arousal seems to affect ejaculatory force. I have also noticed that since I was catheterized while in the hospital, I no longer ejaculate with much force. But oh, "the good feeling" remains delightfully unaffected!

The quantity also seems to have been affected and I have read that this can be caused when some of the seminal fluid leaves the prostate and goes the wrong way in the urethra, traveling up into the bladder rather than down into the penis. Supposedly there is a mechanism, some sort of sphincter or other, that is intended to prevent this under normal circumstances, which makes sense. But it could be that for some, the introduction of a catheter tube can adversely affect this.

How long HAS it been?

There was a time when if you asked me how long it had been since I last had sex with my wife, I could tell you. Most guys could: maybe not down to the hours, but surely within days. If you asked how long it had been since I'd practiced good ole reliable self-service, I probably would have denied doing it altogether. In my mind however I could have zeroed in pretty close to the number of hours it had been.

The underlying inference here is on frequency. More is better. If you're dating, the more babes you screw, the better. If you're married, the fewer times wifey cops a headache plea and gives it up, the better, right? And whether or not a guy admits to regular masturbation, most men are never too much further than 24 hours away from the good feeling—one way or another.

Female authority in a wife-led marriage puts a totally new spin on this hallmark of maledom. Oh yes, the good feeling is very much still the good feeling. Mother Nature saw to that one. But more is, well, not so necessarily better. In a world where men have traditionally felt good about themselves based on regularity of sex, submissive men are seeming to feel good about.... NOT having sex.

What is up with all these counting timers I am noticing lately on blogs written by submissive men? "It's been 3 weeks, 4 days, 22 hours and 43 minutes since my last orgasm." Okay, so the dominant woman in your life has made you go that long, but do we really need to know how long a time has elapsed since she last allowed you to ejaculate? I am wondering if, when you come right down to it (no pun intended), the longer a submissive man goes without sexual release, the better he feels about himself. Does this carry over into how he feels about himself as a man, or is it limited to how he sees himself as a submissive husband? Or, is it basically a function of wanting to please his dominant partner?

Speaking of feeling good about one's self... or not. I just walked a couple of miles for exercise, which made me feel real good about myself. But now I am pissing myself off by sitting her having a cup of coffee and eating double stuff Oreo cookies. Damnit.

It's been
24 hours and 18 minutes
since I last ate a double stuff Oreo cookie! LOL

Who says submissive men live in fear?

I read a post on another blog to which I take umbrage. Speaking of submissive men, himself included, the blogger wrote: "Our patriarchal societal construct is unforgiving to those men who dare challenge the masculine archetype and as such, we must constantly live in fear of being perceived as weak or dysfunctional when our own true desire is to support, encourage and empower women as the leading domestic relationship partners."

First off, I am indeed a submissive man to the extent that I enjoy being dominated by the woman I love and who loves me in return. For the most part, I think women are better suited to lead a marriage. At least in our case, this is true. Goddess V has proved it to me on many occasion. Toward that end, I encourage her and have empowered her to make all decisions in our marriage if she so chooses. I often am given the opportunity to voice my opinion, but in the end, I am content to abide by whatever decision she makes.

Having said that, let me make it abundantly clear that I am not deliberately challenging the masculine archetype of a patriarchal society, nor have I adopted a belief that women unilaterally are superior to men simply due to their gender. I have simply learned to act in a manner within my marriage that feels right and that works for us. More importantly, I do not constantly live in fear of being perceived as weak or dysfunctional, by either my wife or by anyone else.

We do not go out of our way to flaunt our FLR or FemDom lifestyle, or crusade for it in any way. Most of our friends and relatives might not know that I submit to Goddess V in a D/s context, but they would surely describe me as being more attentive a husband than most, one who "defers" to his wife with regularity. I might also add that with a few friends, Goddess V has outed me to a point on the scale that is much further on the submission side than it is deference side.

And I experience no fear. None.

This is because I know that as a person or a man, I am neither weak nor dysfunctional. I hate to think that other submissive men out there might feel this way. Whether you are still a submissive wannabe or whether you have confessed your desires to your wife or partner, DO NOT allow yourself... or anyone else... to make you feel weak, inadequate or dysfunctional-IN ANY WAY. We men who have come to terms with our submissive nature understand that, in fact, we are better husbands or partners than most of those masculine archetypes.

Any thoughts from other submissive men? Of course comments by dominant women are always welcome.